Amish the Old Times

First off I apologize for that horrid pun in the title but I had to do it, you know how it is.

Second what has been going on with the Amish lately. They went from people who had the quirk of living without electricity to people who have the quirk of HAVING THEIR OWN MAFIA!?!

In their defense that Machine gun doesn't use electricity. Just science.

My flat brimmed hat is off to Discovery, cause this show scares the bejesus out of me. Apparently Amish are breaking all kind of rules like, I don't know, killing people.

And wearing colors.

However this may or may not be a fictionalization of amish life. Discovery might be trying to open a new market, I don't know. But that doesn't mean that the amish haven't gotten scary in real life. Like recently when an Amish man named Sam Mullet and several followers were accused of a hate crime.

It's funny because he has a Mullet on his chin AND his name is Mullet.

These amish men are accused of holding other amish men down and cutting their beards off. Which I think is the amish version of burning a cross in someones front yard.

Or burning a barn in someones front yard.

Also, to do it, THEY USED BATTERY POWERED CLIPPERS! Now you're just cheating. I mean I don't condone the hate crime but if you're compelled to do it, then do it using scissors. You sir, make me sick.

Mostly because of that beard...and the "I'm dead inside" look you have.

Maybe the Amish are getting back at us for the way we've misrepresented them in culture, news, and Weird Al Yankovic songs. But it's still scary how they fly under the radar with all this. Part of it might be because they don't have radars themselves but that's not my point.

Once day we will need a hero to bridge the gap between the Amish and the non-Amish. That man we'll have to be one part american cowboy, one part amish. But who? No such man exists, not even in Hollywood where EVERYTHING exists. Who would be such a hero?

....Oh.