Criminal Masterminding

Growing up, I wanted to be a Criminal Mastermind. Dr. No, Lex Luthor, Xander Drax - All role models.

"And the shows called Everwood? Sure that sounds like a GREAT idea..."

Suck it Treat Williams.

Anyway, growing up they, and by that I mean everyone, tells you that you can be whatever you want. Which is kinda a lie right? I'll answer for you - "Right!"

Some Universities have a create your own major type thing. Some call it integrative arts. But I invented my own college major for criminal masterminding anyway.

 This is not to be confused with the University of Phoenix Online Associates degree in being a bad Henchman. I mean really, you got an associates degree but couldn't recognize that your Guard Partner was taken and decided to NOT sound the alarm.

I'm not bitter.

Anyway. The Criminal Masterminding Major has your basic Engineering, Chemistry, and Biology classes as well as extensive classes in Economics, Business, and International Politics.

You also have to take some public speaking courses for when you're showing Mr. Bond around your secret facility.

"Notice the exhaust port two meters wide just small enough for a proton torpedo. Design flaw you say, you know nothing about exhaust."

Finally theater classes.  A Criminal Mastermind needs to have theatrics around him to shock and awe. These all have to be taught by Alan Rickman.

Alan Rickman has played so many bad guys and yet his scariest is still a fish named Joe.

Kneel before Alan Rickman!

And that's what you need. Good luck kids!

Words not in the dictionary

I firmly believe that any word not in the dictionary is not a word.

 That being said, I firmly believe that anyone, including you (yes, you!) can make up a word fairly easily. Shakespeare did it all the time.

Like the word compromise, which I tend to NOT use a lot., was made up by Shakespeare in "The Merchant of Venice."

Now "compromise" was made up by Shakespeare ( I have very little research to actually back that up) and used in documents like the "three fifths compromise."

Which kinda and kinda didn't condone slavery

You're welcome America - but not really

It's easy to make up a word though:
All you have to do is make up a word that sounds like BOTH Shakespeare AND Dr. Seuss would use it.



Example Nestrumbulous:

Nestrumbulous means something that is NOT "Stumbulous"

Clearly "Strumbulous" is also a made up word.

So Strumbulous I have decided means something that can be strummed a lot- like a guitar. Now you could see Shakespeare using this:

As Romeo hit his guitar
Juliet did herself swoon
and the strumbulous effect
Was evident beneath the moon

Clearly a Shakespeare line. Right? But what about Theodore Geisel a.k.a. Dr. Seuss (the original rapper?)

Once again - You're welcome America - This time seriously.

Strumbulous sounds like a Dr.Seuss word, right?

I would not could not have a fit

About the guitar as it sits

But if it were stumbulous

Then if would be fit to sit?

THATS A DR.SEUSS  book waiting to happen!

Finally - You're welcome America!!!

Whatever Happened to Coolio

Every new year I reflect back on a man who changed my life - Coolio. Okay not really, but somewhere in last nights festivities Gangsters Paradise came on and got me thinking about what happened to Coolio.

Originally Artis Leon Ivey Jr (though I'm not sure "Coolio" is much of an improvement), he is probably best known for the song "Gangsters Paradise" (1996) which won a Grammy for Best Rap Solo Performance, and an MTV music award for Best Rap Video. And Since MTV music awards don't really matter essentially just the Grammy for it. 

If you don't feel like watching the video it features Coolio putting on and taking off sunglasses like he's Val Kilmer or something.

Nowadays Coolio is on shows like "Rachel vs Guy: Celebrity Cook-off." So really, not doing much of anything.

He was also apparently in "Batman and Robin" so that might be the extent of his acting career.